Regret
by holls-h
Summary: Bucky and Steve are honest with each other about their feelings, but is it too late?
1. Regret

"You take your eggs over easy still, right?"

Steve looked up from his newspaper, looking towards the kitchen where Bucky was busy making him his supper. He'd insisted to him again and again that just because he was old didn't mean he couldn't do anything for himself, but Bucky had insisted on doing everything for him. He'd even moved in to make it that much more convenient for both of them, something Steve wasn't going to argue. He didn't mind having the company, especially after Peggy died, and Bucky kept the place clean and him fed. It reminded him of the years the two of them had lived together after high school, with Bucky fussing on him all the time, making sure he ate enough and stayed warm. Steve wondered if Bucky would still want to sit in a cold bath with him on hot summer days, or relax out back in their underwear.

The time for that had passed, however, along with many other things, and all he could do now was reminisce.

"You know me," Steve said, setting the newspaper down, whatever he was reading forgotten now as Brooklyn occupied his mind. "What else are you making?"

"Hash browns and some ham. I'm not making bacon for you any more, it gives you heartburn," Bucky said as he poked at the eggs, looking over at the toaster as it popped. Steve wouldn't have eggs without his diagonally cut toast, he had to poke the yolks with the corner of it and eat up the yellow goop before making a sandwich with the fried white part.

"Some things are worth a bit of pain," Steve said, slowly getting to his feet to get the table he ate off of when he sat in his recliner, setting it up for himself.

"Don't I know it," Bucky said, plating their food and bringing it out, immediately noticing little table. "I could have done that for you."

"You already do enough for me," Steve insisted, walking into the kitchen next to get a couple bottles of water for them. "If you did any more, I'd feel guilty, so stop it."

"Never," Bucky said from his spot on the couch, using the coffee table in front of him for his plate. "Sorry this is a shitty dinner, I'll make spaghetti tomorrow, I just forgot to take anything out."

"It's better than I'd have done," Steve said, looking over at his friend before picking up his toast to begin his usual routine. "I still burn beans."

"Oh I know, I've had enough of your cooking for a lifetime," Bucky said with a laugh, taking a bite of egg. "Remember that time you bought that roast for my birthday and it was burnt on the outside and raw inside? Plus the potatoes were massively underdone along with the carrots, none of it was edible."

"I seem to remember you eating it though," Steve remembered, having forgot it was really that bad.

"Yeah, well…you made it for me," Bucky shrugged, smiling despite the ache in his chest, the nagging feeling that never really went away. "You really tried, it would have been a dick move to not eat it."

"It would have been self preservation, I would have understood," Steve said as he build himself a sandwich with his meal, wiping his hands on his napkin. "What are you doing tonight, going out?"

"When do I ever go out if it's not for business or to go to the grocery store? No, I'm staying in and we're finishing the Lord Of The Rings trilogy," Bucky said, shaking his head before taking a drink of water. "And we're starting it from the beginning, you fell asleep on me early last night."

"It can't be much fun hanging out with an old man all the time, Buck, why don't you go to a bar or something? The metal arm has to be a hit with the ladies," Steve said between bites, enjoying his dinner, and thankful that Bucky was here to make it.

"Nah, I'm good," Bucky said casually, stabbing a piece of potato with his fork and popping it in his mouth. "Besides, didn't I say to you that you're Steve to me, not 'old man'? Stop acting like your age changes who you are."

"But it does, I can't exactly go for a run with you," Steve pointed out, setting down his sandwich. "Bucky, I appreciate you being here, but I don't want to hold you back."

"You're not holding me back. Stop being a jerk and eat your sandwich," Bucky said, pretending to be very interested in his plate.

"Bucky, when Peggy and I-"

"Stop, just stop," Bucky dropped his fork, putting his hand on his forehead as he tried to contain his temper. He knew Steve meant well, he just wished he's shut up about it. "I'm not you and Peggy."

"Has there ever been anyone? You'd always mention a girl's name once or twice and she'd be gone again, but was there one of them you wish you hadn't lost?" Steve asked, watching Bucky's expression for any kind of clue, trying to think back to one that stood out.

"There was someone, but it doesn't matter now," Bucky sighed, wishing Steve had grabbed him a bottle of something stronger than water.

"Who was it? Do I know her?" Steve's eyebrows raised, wondering why Bucky hadn't ever brought anyone up. "Was it when you were in Russia?"

"No, stop guessing," Bucky grumbled, taking a few more bites before putting his fork down again.

"Bucky, it's me…" Steve said softly, trying to remind Bucky that he had nothing he'd ever need to hide from him.

"…I-I…" Bucky stammered as he interpreted the sentence a different way, thinking that Steve had just guessed his biggest secret. "Steve…"

"What?" Steve was confused now, but he could tell by how pale Bucky was that something wasn't right.

"I didn't know, I didn't think I could tell you…" Bucky said weakly, burying his face in his hands, taking a few deep breaths. "It doesn't matter now, I just…I don't want things to be awkward. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for…?" Steve furrowed his brow, going back over everything that was said until the pieces fell into place and he realized exactly what Bucky was saying. It was like being punched in the gut.

"Just sorry for fucking making things weird, I-" Bucky raised his head and wiping his eyes, looking over at Steve and frowning. "Steve? Are you okay?"

"It was you or her…" Steve whispered, his eyes glazed over as he stared forward, tears running down his cheeks. "I said there was no way…no way that you'd…"

"What?" It was Bucky's turn to be confused now, cocking his head as he stared at Steve, dinner forgotten.

"I loved Peggy, don't ever think I didn't, but she wasn't who I thought of going back to first," Steve admitted, unable to look at his friend as he felt sick to the pit of his stomach. "I would have had you all this time, we would have had a long life together, we would have…"

"Steve…oh my god…" Bucky couldn't breathe, he felt like the room was spinning around him and he desperately wanted it to stop. Letting out a broken cry, he fought every urge he had to destroy everything and scream until he was hoarse, bursting into sobs instead. He felt like he was losing his mind, and all he could do was pull on his hair to distract himself with more pain.

"Bucky, no, don't do that," Steve got to his feet and was over to Bucky's side in a flash, pulling his hands away from his hair before wrapping his arms around him. "Bucky, my Bucky…"

Bucky's body shook, though he didn't make a noise as his hands slowly left his face, his arms wrapping around Steve as he cried into him, soaking the material of his shirt. It wasn't stopping, the torrent of tears, they only seemed to flow faster as his brain threw every heartbreaking thought it could at him.

"I didn't have you, all I wanted was you…" Bucky managed to spit out as Steve held him in his arms, shaking his head as if to forget his own feelings, though it did nothing.

"I wish I knew, I thought…" Steve had thought that there was no way Bucky was going to love him in return, he'd taken the path that he thought would be easier. He was regretting it thoroughly now, he had no idea how close he was to having the life he'd always wanted. "I'm so sorry, Bucky."

Unable to reply, Bucky could only weep as he leaned against Steve, not wanting him to let go, wishing that he'd done something, said something, anything to have given Steve some hint as to how he felt. Even if they would have had to hide hit from the world, it would have been worth it to fall asleep in Steve's arms every night.

"I don't want you to be sorry," Bucky said finally as his tears slowed enough for him to speak. "You had a good life, a happy life with Peggy, there's nothing to be sorry for."

"I could have had that life with you, I could have kept you home from the war and protected you," It was Steve's turn to get more emotional now, picking up a couple tissues from the box on top of the coffee table just beyond Bucky's unfinished meal. Handing one to Bucky, he tried dry his own eyes, but it seemed to be a steady job.

"Our life would have been harder, it wouldn't be like something out of a storybook, we'd have to lie about each other," Bucky was trying to find every reason he could to make Steve's ultimate decision seem like the better of the two to ease Steve's guilt.

"So we couldn't have a house in the suburbs, we could share an apartment in the city and pretend to be bachelors together, or move out to the country where no one would notice us," Steve felt sick as the images of him and Bucky standing in the kitchen, his arms around his waist as Bucky cooked him dinner. "Bucky, I love you, I've always loved you."

"Sometimes love isn't everything though, and I want you to know I don't hate you for your decision, I couldn't. All I've ever wanted for you was to be happy, and you were," Bucky blew his nose, taking a few breaths to try to contain himself. "I'm here with you now…"

"You deserve more than me now," Steve said, keeping his arms tighter around Bucky, wishing everything had gone differently. "I'm old, I can't make you happy."

"Shut up about being old. I'm old too," Bucky reminded him, moving so that he could look Steve in the eye. "Will you hold me every night? Just in your arms as you sleep?"

"You know I will," Steve said, already imagining Bucky lying against him as they slept, protecting him from his nightmares. "Anything for you, Buck, anything."

"Just let me be with you now, okay? Even if it's only hugs and kisses, can I have that much?" Bucky begged softly, reaching over to take Steve's hand in his own, lacing their fingers together.

Steve looked down at Bucky's hand in his own, staring at the contrast between his pale, wrinkled skin looking older next to Bucky. His hands were still young, still soft despite Bucky having been on this planet as long as he was. Bucky still had his youth, his stunning good looks, his boundless energy, and he was willing to saddle himself with an old man who couldn't even stand for long any more without leaning on something.

"Are you sure about this?" Steve asked as he looked into Bucky's stunning blue eyes, placing his hand on his cheek as he leaned forward to press their foreheads together. "You're really sure this is what you want?"

Bucky just smiled with tears in his eyes, blinking them away before leaning forward and pressing his lips against Steve's, letting the kiss linger as he tried not to let it break. When it finally did, Bucky's eyes met Steve's again, both men unable to stop smiling as their cheeks kept getting wetter.

"I'm so sure…" Bucky said back, laughing a little as he ran his metal fingers through Steve's hair. "I love you however you come, Stevie, just like I always have."

"You're too kind, Buck," Steve said, relaxing at his touch, his thumb slowly rubbing the back of Bucky's hand. "You've always been gorgeous from day one, you could have had anyone."

"I had who I wanted," Bucky smiled, sniffing as he tried to calm himself down, though every time he thought he was almost there, one look at Steve's familiar eyes sent another dagger through his heart. Of course he wished he'd had Steve all along, he wished he'd lived a full, long life by his side, but that was never going to happen. "I just didn't always have you the way I wanted to."

"So I'm not the only one that wanted to drag you into a bedroom so I could have my way with you?" Steve chuckled, though there wasn't much amusement in his voice.

"Definitely not, I wanted you to fuck my brains out more times than I could ever count," Bucky squeezed Steve's hand, unable to keep a steady smile on his face. "It's fine if you don't want to do that now, I'm not expecting it from you or anything, it's not a dealbreaker."

"…was there ever anyone else though, Buck?" Steve asked, unable to bring his hand away from Bucky's cheek, tracing his fingers over it as if her was seeing him for the first time.

"There could never be anyone else, I wanted to wait for you in case…in case you ever changed your mind about me," Bucky admitted softly, relaxing at Steve's touch, thrilled for even that little bit of contact with him. "i just…I tried, but I couldn't."

"Fuck…" Steve breathed, feeling worse, though he was sure that wasn't Bucky's intent. "It would have been just you if I'd known, I would have treated you like a king, we would have…" Would have's were starting to pile up at a rapid rate, all the good intentions that Steve would have had for Bucky, but it was too late for most of them. All he could offer now didn't seem like quite enough, Bucky deserved so much more.

"I'm just…I'm glad we know now, right? We can appreciate this time, you just have to live to be the oldest man alive, okay? I'll look after you, I'll do everything for you, like I would have if we were together all this time," Bucky whispered, his voice cracking a little under the pressure of his emotions.

"I don't want to leave you…" Steve said weakly, pulling Bucky in for another hug as he buried his face in Bucky's hair, breathing in the smell of him mixed with his shampoo. "I don't want to leave you behind."

"…I won't be left behind for long," Bucky admitted, though he was sure Steve wasn't going to like him saying that.

"Buck..." Steve began, though Bucky was quick to speak again.

"It's my life, let me do what I want with it. If I want to follow my boyfriend, I'm going to," Bucky insisted, not wanting this to be a matter of discussion, not when he'd made up his mind so long ago.

"Your boyfriend…" Steve said weakly, knowing there was no use with fighting with a very stubborn Bucky, though the thought of him taking his own life ripped his heart out of his chest.

"You have to be, I love you…you are right?" Bucky asked with desperation in his voice.

"If that's what my best guy wants, that's what he gets," Steve said, holding Bucky close, never wanting to let him go. "My gorgeous, brilliant boyfriend, my Bucky…"

"You're not so bad yourself," Bucky laughed a little, hugging Steve back, not wanting this embrace to end. "Couple of wrinkles, but the grey hair really suits you. You're one of those silver foxes."

Steve couldn't help but laugh at that, shaking his head as he slowly let go of Bucky to wipe his eyes with a tissue.

"I don't know if that's the term I'd use to describe me," Steve chuckled as he leaned in to kiss Bucky again, letting this kiss last longer than the last one before he regretfully broke it. "But if you want to call me that, I can live with it."

"I'm going to call you lots of things and they're all going to be complementary," Bucky smiled back at him despite the ache in his chest. "…how about we curl up on the couch under a blanket and watch our movie? It can be our first date."

"That sounds perfect to me," Steve said, letting go of Bucky to stand up and clear his plate.

"No no, you set the movie up, let me do the leg work," Bucky said, springing up and grabbing his mostly empty plate before getting Steve's off his tray. "I just want you to take it easy until I get back."

"Yes, sir," Steve joked in return, watching as Bucky set his table aside before disappearing with the plates. Waiting for the sound of water in the kitchen, Steve took his phone out of his side pocket, going through the contacts and selecting Bruce Banner's name to send him a text. Typing for a moment, he hit send and set it gently beside him next to a lamp before he picked up the controllers to set up their first movie date. He was going to make tonight perfect for Bucky, perfect for both of them, he was going to set things right.

'Bruce, I need your help, and Hank Pym's. We need to talk.'


	2. All I've Wanted

Bucky wasn't sure where Steve had disappeared to so early in the morning, but he was sure he would have let him know if it was important. Ever since their mutual confession, they'd been closer than before, even if it just meant Bucky curling up against him as they watched television. It was what Bucky had craved for so long, though he had to admit it hurt his heart every time he looked at Steve and realized how old he was. Their time together wasn't going to last forever, not by a long shot, but Bucky wasn't going to shed any tears about it, not in front of Steve at least. He had all the time he wanted to cry alone after Steve passed, and before he would after him, he was still determined to stick to that plan. Steve hadn't managed to talk him out of it yet.

Pulling the sheets off their shared bed, Bucky balled it up and tossed it in the hamper along with the pillow cases. He'd been in a cleaning mood, figuring he might as well get some shit done while he felt like doing it. Plus doing it alone now meant that Steve wouldn't insist on helping later, he'd probably be tired by the time he got back from wherever he went. Bucky had tried texting, but he knew Steve often forgot to turn the ringer on, so getting a hold of him was rarely easy. It also meant that Bucky was going to worry more not knowing if he was okay.

A wave of relief washed over Bucky as he heard the sound of the front door and the jingle of Steve's keys being placed on the counter. He wanted to rush out and ask him where he'd been, but he didn't want to come off as insanely overprotective, that and he hadn't finished making the bed. Though he'd once honed that skill in the military, he wasn't quite as good at it now, especially when it came to the fitted sheet. Steve always teased him for the rumpled state he left them in when he tried to fold them, and now as he wrestled to get it on the bed, he was sure Steve would laugh at that too.

"Fucking piece of…you bastard thing!" Bucky cursed as the sheet covering one of the corners sprung out from underneath, curling on the bed. Getting it in position where he was working on it now, he walked back over to the far corner to take the sheet, give it a tug, and try to get it over the mattress. Satisfied when all four corners were covered, Bucky put his hands on his hips, blowing a stray piece of hair out of his face when he heard a knock on the door behind him. "Steve, I'm just making the bed, why are y-?"

Turning around, Bucky's jaw hit the floor alongside his heart as he stared at the man that was standing in front of him. It was Steve, but not the old man he'd been living with the past few months, but his Steve. Young, strong, vibrant Steve, holding a bouquet of flowers with a look on his face that begged for approval for what he had done.

"I had to," was all Steve said, having forgotten the beautiful speech he'd been writing in his head for a while now, ever since he'd decided on his course of action. "I had to be with you."

Bucky didn't move, he could only stare, his mouth dry as he opened it to speak. The only thing that he could do was shed a few tears as he thought about what Steve had just done, just so he could be with him. He wasn't going to insult his efforts and tell him he shouldn't have done it, because he should have, damn it, this was his Steve and he didn't belong with anyone else.

"You look a bit better, I guess," Bucky said, a slow smile spreading across his face. "Get a haircut?"

"Something like that," Steve laughed back, their eyes locked on each other. "I'd say I wanted to be the hot one of the two of us, but I don't think I could do anything to take that title off you."

"Steve…" Bucky started, letting out a laugh, but it was more tears than anything. "Stevie, what did you do?"

"I did what I had to, what I wanted to do all this time," Steve set down the flowers on the dresser, walking over to Bucky and cupping his face in his hands, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I need you, Bucky, I don't want to leave you. I want to hold you, and kiss you, and make love to you, that's all I've ever wanted."

Bucky wanted to reply, biting hard on his bottom lip to keep it from trembling so hard as he reached for Steve with shaking hands. There were a million things he wanted to say, but he couldn't bring himself to say a word. All he wanted was Steve right now.

"Buck, it's okay…" Stepping forward, Steve took both of Bucky's hands, squeezing them in his own, before pulling him into a proper bone crushing hug. "It's okay, I'm here…"

"Please don't let me go…" Bucky pleaded in a whisper, burying his face against Steve's shoulder, tears slipping from his eyes. "Don't ever let me go again, let's just be like this."

"I'm not going to let you go, I swear to you," Steve said, rubbing Bucky's back, turning his head to kiss his temple softly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I feel like this can't be real…" Bucky said softy, though as much doubt as he had in his mind, he could almost feel the long standing wounds on his heart knitting together. "I feel like I died and you're here to come get me."

"No, not yet, that's a while's off, Buck," Steve said, letting go of him just enough to look into his eyes again. "Now that I've aged once, I know now that I want to grow old with you, I want us to be old men together looking after each other. I want to hold your hand and talk about all the time we had together and how we'd do it all the same if we could do it again. I want to live a long life with you without regret."

"Holy shit…" Bucky laughed weakly, touching Steve's cheek with his still shaking hand. "You really thought this through."

"I made my decision the night you told me you loved me, everything since then has been waiting, and wanting," Steve leaned his head against Bucky's touch, turning his face to press a kiss against his palm. "I've been waiting for you for so long, these last few weeks have been hell though, being so close, having to keep this from you..."

"Steve-" Bucky began, rubbing their noses together. "Oh my god, Steve…"

"Do you remember what I called you that night? My Bucky. My beautiful, blue-eyed, loving Bucky," Steve said with a weak laugh of his own, trying to keep his emotions in check and failing miserably. "I'm going to call you that every night for the rest of our lives."

"Every night…" Bucky clung to him tighter, trying to convince himself that this was real and not the best dream he'd ever had.

"I mean it, I'm not going to let you go, Bucky," Steve said, his hands moving down to where Bucky's shirt ended, slipping under the material as he rubbed his bare skin. "Can I take it off?"

Bucky nodded, not doing much to help Steve take his shirt off, watching as he dropped it to the floor. When his boyfriend came closer, his own hands reached out to repay the favour, peeling off Steve's shirt and seeing his perfect physique again. "And I was just starting to find your old body hot."

"Well I'll get to it again, but you're not going to look much better than me at that point," Steve said with a laugh, looking at Bucky as he bit his lip. "I'm not always the best at reading signals, you're going to have to help me out. Do you want this moment to be romantic, or...?"

"Steve, I want you...as in Steve Rogers, I have been waiting all my life for this, and if you make me wait another second, I am going to hurt someone," Bucky said insistently, hesitating for a second before he grabbed Steve by either side of his face, pressing their lips together in a desperate kiss.

Surprised, and feeling incredibly lucky, Steve slowly began to walk forwards, backing Bucky towards the bed until his knees hit it and spilled them both onto the mattress. Pinning Bucky down, Steve took both of Bucky's wrists in one hand, holding them over his head as his mouth ravaged his boyfriend's. His other hand snaking down Bucky's bare belly, Steve slipped Bucky's sweatpants down his hip, trying to get them to go lower.

"You're fucking eager..." Bucky breathed, watching as Steve pushed his pants down and off his legs. "I'm not complaining."

"Of course I'm eager, look at you, you're MINE," Steve awkwardly shoved off his own jeans, kicking them off his foot as he climbed back on top of Bucky. "So where were we?"

"Somewhere around here," Bucky purred, kissing him hungrily as he wrapped his legs loosely around Steve's, moving them just to feel the sensation of their leg hair rubbing together. It was those little things reminding Bucky how real this was, along with the bite of Steve's teeth as their kiss got more heated. He wasn't sure if he could really taste blood or not, but he wasn't slowing down.

"Bucky, I fucking want you more than air..." Steve panted when their lips finally parted, still tasting him. "What do you want, baby? What would make you happy?"

"What would you say if I said your cock up my ass?" Bucky asked as casually as he could manage, trying not to laugh when Steve's face went bright red. "I mean, you wanted direct, right?"

"Oh I'm not...not going to complain, I just...I don't think I ever got hard so fast," Steve laughed, scratching the back of his neck. "I guess that's another title I'll give you..."

"What other titles do you have in mind?" Bucky asked, his curiosity piqued.

"Hottest Man Alive, to start, followed by Best Egg Cook, Greatest Movie Picker..." Steve said, the corners of his mouth playing up a little. "...Husband?"

"...are you asking me or telling me?" Bucky asked after a shocked few seconds.

"I'm asking you, and I wish that was more romantic, but...we both know each other more than anyone else, I don't think we have any secrets from each other now, and...goddamnit, Bucky, I've never been closer to anyone than you. Anyone," Steve said, looking down at Bucky, petting his hair. "I wish I asked you ages ago, even if it wasn't legal back then, there was nothing I wanted more than to make you my husband."

"And there's nothing I would have wanted more than to say yes. Definitely yes, yes yes yes," Bucky grinned, leaning up to steal a quick kiss. "But...Steve?"

"Yes, my soon to be husband?" Steve whispered against his lips.

"When I said that I wanted your cock in my ass, I thought I couldn't possibly be hornier, or clearer, but now, with this on the table..." Bucky grinned, his eyes twinkling. "If you don't fuck me right now, I'm going to break, because I've waited for a long time and if this moment gets more perfect, I won't be able to handle it. I'll just fucking cry or something."

"And here I thought it wouldn't be good enough for you. Damn it, Bucky, what do you mean you waited? You didn't..." Steve said, smiling nervously, wondering if he was interpreting that wrong.

"You'll be my first," Bucky said, his cheeks red. "That's...that's okay right?"

Steve didn't reply, his lips just met Bucky's again, pinning him down by his wrists again as he pressed his body against Bucky's, feeling his fiancé's heart pounding in his chest. Lowering his free hand down, his fingers encircled both of their cocks, stroking slowly as his thumb rubbed across the tips, blending their sticky pre-cum. He'd seen Bucky's cock before, it wasn't anything new to him that way, but it was the first time he'd gotten his hands on it, and he was studying every ridge and vein.

"Holy shit, you're good at that..." Bucky panted, licking his lips, his fingernails biting into his palm.

"I've thought about it a lot. I'm way better read than I am experienced with this," Steve said, looking down at him. "We...oh shit, we need lube for this."

"I have some, I do that a lot," Bucky said, figuring there was no real reason to be embarrassed about it at this point. "Under the sink in the bathroom."

"Do you? What do you think about?" Steve asked teasingly, stroking him faster.

"You, you idiot," Bucky scoffed before letting out a moan. "I didn't think about this, I should have..."

"Don't go anywhere, okay? Keep your eyes on the ceiling and your hands above your head, don't move," Steve said, getting up to head into the small bathroom, opening the cupboard and picking up the poorly hidden tube of lube next to a knocked over vibrator. Grinning, he reached down to pick it up, turning it on to make sure it was working before walking back into the bedroom.

"I didn't move," Bucky pointed out when he could hear Steve's footsteps coming back into the room. "Did you find it?"

"I found it. Found something else too," Steve said as he walked in, setting the vibrator and lube on the bed beside Bucky's hip, and moving up the bed to look him in the eye. "…I have an idea of what to do here, but I'm no expert. Will you be patient with me?"

"I'll be honest with you, and i'll be very patient," Bucky vowed, smiling back at Steve. "Use lots of lube, take your time, and I'll be fine."

"That's what I was hoping for," Steve said, reaching down to pick up the lube, popping the cap open with one hand as he tugged Bucky's thigh to part his legs further. "Tell me if you want me to stop."

"I promise…" Bucky said, holding his breath for a moment as Steve's fingers brushed up against his entrance, remembering that he'd have to relax if this was going to happen. Slowly exhaling, he struggled to keep himself from tensing up again as Steve pushed a digit inside of him, a little to begin before it moved in further.

"Are you doing okay, Buck?" Steve asked, moving his finger in and out, studying the expression on Bucky's face as he did so, the corner of his mouth tugging into a smile at his fiancé's obvious pleasure.

"Good, really good…" Bucky closed his eyes for a moment, wanting to keep them on Steve. This was his ultimate fantasy come to life, there was no way he was going to miss out on any of it.

"Excellent, because I have a bit of an idea…" Steve added another finger, twisting them inside Bucky, hooking them a little to stroke the soft walls. "I'm hoping it works out the way I want because, well, it would be hot."

"Should I be nervous?" Bucky asked, looking over at Steve, letting out a shaky breath.

"Hopefully not, but you need to close your eyes and bend your knees so I have better access to you," Steve said, watching as Bucky got into position, picking up the vibrator to coat it liberally with lube. Pushing it against Bucky's puckered hole, Steve turned it on as he guided it inside, grinning as Bucky gasped and grabbed onto the bed. "Like that?"

"Jesus, Steve!" Bucky panted, trembling all over as Steve worked the vibrator in and out of him, twisting two handfuls of blankets in his hands. "Steve, not fair…"

"Lots of things haven't been fair for us, Bucky, but that doesn't mean we stop," Steve teased, shifting positions so he could lie on his side and watch Bucky's face as he fucked him with the vibrating wand. "So when you used this on yourself, were you thinking about me?"

"Of course I was. I know you can't make your cock vibrate, but it was an added bonus," Bucky said, his breath quickening as he fought to keep from squishing Steve's hand between his thighs.

"How often did you think about me?" Steve purred, his voice soft and calming as he looked into Bucky's eyes.

"Every fucking day…" Bucky laughed, though it quickly turned into a moan. "If you're trying to make me cum right now, you're doing a great job."

"No, not yet…" Steve pulled the vibrator out of Bucky, turning it off, and tossing it aside, reaching for the lube again. "I want my cock to be the one to make you cum. I want to feel you squeeze down on me when you do. And I want to cum in you so fucking bad, Bucky, I've been waiting for this for years."

"What are you waiting for now?" Bucky asked, his voice sweet, but his eyes betraying that innocence.

Steve couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he got up, moving between Bucky's parted thighs as he stared back down into his lover's face. Opening the lube again, he coated his fingers again to push them inside Bucky, making sure he was thoroughly slick before he turned his attention to his own stiff member. Once he was convinced he was suitably prepared, Steve put his hands on the back of Bucky's thighs, pushing his knees against his chest, before carefully lining up the swollen head of his cock against the tight pucker.

"I love you so much," Bucky said as he looked up at Steve, smiling widely as he felt tears rise in his eyes.

"And I love you too," Steve smiled back, slowly pushing inside him as he let out a low moan. He'd been expecting Bucky to be tight from having his fingers in him, but the warm sensation of him gripping his cock was enough to take his breath away. "Holy shit, Bucky, you're so fucking tight."

"You just love my virgin ass, don't you?" Bucky reached for Steve as he leaned over him and carefully began to thrust, grabbing onto his arms with both hands. "I'm all yours, Stevie, no one else but you…"

"Fuck…" Steve lost his rhythm for a moment with that statement, his fingers grasping Bucky's thighs tighter as he tried to regain himself. It was a losing battle, though, all he was thinking about now was fucking Bucky for the first time, and it added fuel to the fire.

"Steve…Steve, oh god…" Bucky whimpered, his voice getting steadily louder as Steve went faster, the perfect curve of Steve's dick rubbing up against his prostate in a way that felt like fate. They were made for each other, they were a perfect fit, and it also meant that he wasn't going to be able to last long.

"You're so good, Buck, you feel like heaven," Steve swallowed hard, trying to do everything he could to slow down how fast his orgasm was rushing in, wanting to pull back just as much as he wanted to keep going. "Nothing's come close to this, nothing…"

"Steve, I can't…" Bucky was trembling hard now, his entire body down to his toes going stiff as he held back, but as he could feel the surge bearing down on him, the wall he'd erected to hold it back was crumbling. In a burst, Bucky felt like he was blind, every sense in his body lost in the frantic, broken scream he let forth as he came hard enough to splash on his chest.

"Jesus, Buck!" It was Steve's turn to cry out now as Bucky clamped down around him, pushing his hips as tight as he could against him, climaxing deep within him. Jolting as his ultra sensitive cock slipped from Bucky's too tight ass, feeling like every nerve within it was electrified. Collapsing on the bed beside him, Steve could only pant deeply, feeling like he'd just run a marathon in a second.

"…Steve?" Bucky said after a few seconds had passed, his heart finally starting too slow in his chest.

"Yeah, Buck?" Steve asked, turning his head to look at him.

"Did you mean it when you said you wanted me to be your husband?" Bucky turned his head, looking into Steve's eyes, a love drunk smile on his face.

"I'm here, like this, aren't I? My second chance at the life I always wanted. With you," Steve reached over, taking Bucky's flesh hand in his own, lacing their fingers together. "I'd say I'd go out and get you a ring right now but…I don't think I can walk, and I want to do that again the second I can."

Bucky laughed at that, shaking his head. "Rings tomorrow, okay? Right before we drive to city hall and exchange them, because I've already spent enough of my life not being your husband."

"That sounds good to me," Steve smiled, bringing Bucky's hand up to his mouth to press a kiss to his knuckles, absolutely lost in his sea blue eyes. "It's a date."


End file.
